Under the Same Sky
by Kiexa
Summary: It's just like old times, except I've grown older, my heart is heavier, and I'm alone." Riku's search for Roxas brings him to a beach that reminds him of his old home and he remembers how everything began. A memoir


Heya! I finally get to put this on here. I didn't really originally intend for this to become a full-out fic -- I was just watching the sunset the other day when it was stormy and the clouds were dark and kind of purple, and it reminded me of the beginning of the first KH. It gave me an idea, so I started writing and it turned into this. My first fic! Basically, it's a memoir of Riku's as he's searching for Roxas and he remembers all that happened before. Enjoy!

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**Under the Same Sky**

Tonight, the sky looks like it did before-- on that night. The wind is blowing -- it's chilly -- and lightning keeps ripping up the sky like lion claws on a blanket. The clouds are purple, and low, churning in silence like a dark molten river… if there even is such a thing.

It's almost beautiful.

Strange, I remember thinking the same thing when the darkness swallowed up our home. About the dark sky being beautiful, I mean. Maybe it's just the darkness clouding up my heart that makes me sit outside in the center of the storm as lightning flashes around me with threats to end my life. As far as I know, everyone else runs inside. I'm guessing this because as soon as my hair begins to stand on end, all the people around me scurry away and vanish.

It's kind of sad because there really is beauty in storms like this.

I'm on a beach right now, the water's below me -- maybe that's stupid because of all the lightning, but I can't resist. It's so… nostalgic. Reminiscent. Even (dare I, the man with no emotions, say it?) sentimental.

It reminds me of Sora, of Kairi, those days spent at our island, building the raft, gazing out at the crystal sea, going home at night, weary yet satisfied, only to sleep and dream restless visions of adventure. I remember how I always taunted Sora, teased him endlessly about Kairi and about being better than him, stronger than him, smarter than him. He'd always get so riled up, it was hilarious.

And Kairi. I remember I wanted her once. I wanted her to remember me, to miss me. I know she did when she knew I was gone, maybe forever. But not the way I'd hoped.

I wanted her to love me. It got worse after the islands broke up and Maleficent showed me my darkness when I awoke in Hollow Bastion. I was so angry with Sora for deserting me, so jealous because he had everything I wanted but couldn't have. The Keyblade was supposed to be mine. He had friends, and he didn't seem to care about me anymore. He had a life of his own, and he didn't rely on anyone else for support.

But I found Kairi first. She was alive. In a comatose state, but alive. I remember the shock and relief that drenched me and made my limbs shake for hours afterward. Those first few days, I didn't care if she loved me or not. I just rejoiced because she was living and breathing.

But soon, visiting the quarters I had set apart for her became my only relief. The missions were tiresome, though I refused to admit it, and my rivalry with Sora, though at that time still concealed, was wearing at my heart. I became so attached to her presence that I began to bring her with me on trips to find the way to return her heart.

That's when I ran into to Sora on a pirate ship in one of the worlds. He and his newfound friends demanded that I return Kairi. Their insistence was a bit ridiculous, I think, even to this day. "Riku, you're wrong, now give Kairi back before I hit you with my Keyblade" doesn't seem to me like the best way to persuade a friend to come over to your side when he isn't thinking straight. He was always a bit of a hothead; but since he's my best friend, I had to learn to deal with it pretty early on.

I digress.

It was on the ship that my muddled mind convinced me that Sora now hated me and wanted kill me so he could get Kairi back. I tried to scare him off by showing him his own darkness, but when that didn't work, I took Kairi and fled back to Hollow Bastion.

But as I ran, I sensed something that had bothered me before, something that made me so angry that I almost dropped Kairi in the darkness and left her there to rot.

Her heart wasn't with me. I couldn't feel it leap when I entered the room, I couldn't feel it longing for me when I was gone, I couldn't feel its contentment as I cradled her in my arms. In fact, I couldn't feel it at all. And I knew, then. I knew that it was with Sora.

That's when I started to hate him down to the very core of my being. I wanted him to die, and I wanted to be the one that killed him. In my sickened mind, that became the only reason to live. My animosity of him was so strong, it consumed me. Every thought, every breath became possessed with the sole thought of revenge and annihilation. Even in my sleep, I couldn't rest. My mind fabricated twisted dreams of the horribly tortuous death he'd suffer at my hands.

But I decided in my waking hours, that before I killed him, I would destroy him. I would humiliate him. I would strip him of every single thing he had manage to reconstruct in his life, and I would leave him to scream alone until his throat was raw. I would take his friends, I would take his freedom, I would take Kairi, I would take his Keyblade: and eventually, I planned to take his heart.

I failed miserably.

Everything had been going as planned. The Keyblade had been drawn to the power nesting in my heart, as it had originally, before I saw it slip away into the waves of darkness. I had roped his friends into becoming my disciples; they had pledged to be loyal to the man with the Keyblade, not him. I already knew where Kairi was, I just had to convince him that her heart belonged to me. I left him alone on the shores of the Rising Falls to wallow in his misery.

What I failed to remember is that Sora follows his heart everywhere. If it flies up into the clouds and rainbows, giddy with joy, then that's where you'll find him. If it sinks down below the earth into the pits of despondency, that's where he'll be. But it's also very buoyant. If it's in the pits of despondency, it won't stay there long. The gears in his head will crank into motion, his unfailing (sometimes almost idiotic) optimism will drag him up out of the mud and onto his feet again.

That's why I didn't understand when he came after me. When he said I could do whatever I wanted, because he believed in friendship. I took him for a fool. I decided right then and there that I would kill him.

I tried. Believe me, I did.

But his strength of heart, his friends, his Keyblade, and his damned unwavering faith got in the way. And I failed. His friends left me, the Keyblade left me, and I was alone again, more of a fool than before. I ran away.

That's when Ansem first came to me. He crawled into my mind like a worm as I fled, snaking his way into my thoughts and breathing his lies to my heart. He convinced me that if I let him in, then he would give me power beyond my imagination.

Like a fool, I believed him.

He did give me power, but he also gave me death. Evil. I could smell its stench like a decomposing corpse, only a hundred times worse. I could even taste it, darkness so foul, I could feel it throbbing like blood on my tongue. But I was too blind with rage to care. I let him control me.

The memories of that time are dim. I'm glad; if they were any clearer I wouldn't be able to bear them. I took Kairi to the top tower of the castle. While there, Ansem instructed me on how to create my own Keyblade, but from the pure hearts of the six princesses that Maleficent had captured.

I used it to unlock the darkness in the witch's heart and turn her into a dragon which I then set upon Sora. He defeated her, but I knew that he would eventually come to me, so I waited. Somehow, I knew that Kairi's heart was in him and that I would have to kill him to release it.

By that time I didn't care. I didn't care about anything, not even Kairi. I only wanted darkness, and power.

I dimly remember the fight with Sora, how Ansem punished me when I lost. I remember lurking in the corner of the room where Sora wouldn't see me and watching him.

I was shocked when he took the Keyblade I left behind and plunged it into his own heart. He sacrificed himself to save Kairi. But Ansem still wouldn't leave him alone. He forced me out of my hiding place and we attacked.

Or rather, he tried to force me to attack. I was so taken aback by Sora's selfless sacrifice that I refused to obey him. He was so angered by my insubordination he tried to kill me. I managed to hold him back long enough for the others, including Kairi, to escape. Then he swallowed me. I never knew until later how many days I spent locked away as a prisoner in the farthest subconscious reaches of my own mind.

It gave me a lot of time to stew in my hatred. I started to hate everyone: Maleficent, Sora, his friends, Kairi, everyone I'd ever known because they'd all deserted me. I hated Ansem for enslaving me. I even started to hate myself for being so stupid and weak.

Thank God in heaven that didn't last long. After a few days of aimless self-pity, I finally started to regain my senses. My logic, which had left me the day the islands vanished finally came back. I started to plot an escape.

Unfortunately, since I was trapped in the back of my mind with no control over my own actions and no knowledge of the outside world, every one of my plans hinged on Ansem's death. Something I knew was highly unlikely.

So I hovered in the silent darkness for what seemed like months, with nothing to do but remember and regret.

Then one day, there was a disruption. I had learned to pick up the gist of his thought processes, and that day, his mind was in a total frenzy. I remember having to back into a corner to keep from being crushed. I knew it had to be something big. And it was.

That was the day he was destroyed, and I was set free. I remember the feeling. It was like being let out of a suitcase someone had crammed me in for a long-distance trip to an unknown destination. I remember crumbling to the ground, and for a few moments just lying there, relieved to be free.

I wasn't allowed to rest for long. Heartless suddenly began to attack me from out of nowhere and I heard a voice screaming, "The Door, shut the Door!"

I managed to fight off the Heartless and make it to the huge door that was a hundred yards away from me, the Door to Darkness. It was only upon making it to the door that I realized Sora was the one on the other side, trying too shut it. When I saw his face, all my regrets came rushing back to me. I was ashamed to face him, because I once considered him my brother, but I had tried to kill him. His exclamation of surprise and his reassuring grin was all I needed to know that he deemed it all in the past. With that in mind, I told him to take care of Kairi and we shut the door, cutting us off for God knows how long.

It's been months, and that meeting at the door is the last memory I have of the kid while he was conscious. I've seen him since then, in a castle, but he was already in a deep sleep. At this point no one knows if he'll ever wake up.

I've also let go of Kairi. I do love her still, but it's turned into more of a big brotherly type thing. Anyway, she's completely Sora's girl. She's too bouncy and outgoing -- not really my type. I'll find someone. There's many fish in the sea or however they say it.

The storm is dying down now and the clouds are starting to fade. I still can't bring myself to go down to the water, though. It's so clear and reflective… and I don't have my blindfold. I know what I'll see, I don't want to see it. Maybe I'm in denial.

I can picture my friends beside me as I stare into the blazing sunset. Something sentimental I indulge in occasionally. It's just like old times, except that I've grown older, my heart is heavier, and I'm alone.

But maybe with some luck, I'll be able to change that. I have to leave this place soon, because I'm searching for a boy named Roxas, and I'm pretty sure he's not here.

I'm looking forward to the day we'll all watch the sunset together again, but for now, I guess I'll just be comforted by the fact that we're all under the same sky.

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There it is. If you liked it, please review! If you didn't like it, please review and tell me why! Thanks!


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